There is no ride more wild than actually feeling through the journey of your own beating, broken, healing, expanding heart. None I have experienced anyway.
What would you say if I told you at the exact moment I really really needed help, a message from my ancestors was delivered through a laptop that suddenly turned on from the other room to the exact point of the penultimate episode of The Office, the point at the “reunion” episode where Pam answers a question from the office on loving?
Maybe there’s nothing to say at that point, but sit down and watch. I’d give you some of my miso ice cream. We’d settle into the comfortable hug of a old tv show, the characters who feel like of like people we live amongst.
We’d float the rest of the day, with whatever is.
My period started in tune with the full moon.
And when I say I felt in 24 hours all of the deepest griefs and deepest loves, the pinacle of which was the clearest message yet from my original and forever heart guide, my grandmother, MothiAi, what would you say?
Maybe you would say, like some do: The red moon cycle is less common than the white moon cycle and is linked to the full moon. If you're a woman with a red moon cycle, you bleed during the full moon, ovulating during the new moon. In ancient times these women were the priestesses, the healers, the witches, and the medicine women.
I wouldn’t mind going witchy for this fall/winter I’d say, I’d lead the sad grieving ones to online ceremonies of dreaming through the darkest of places.
I would take on the work of my grandmother’s legacy of loving constant. All the good that came back to her, and all who stayed close to her, came from what she freely gave out. It ripples out. The impact keeps going.
This isn’t where I thought I’d end up today. It’s not what I felt this morning, and may not even be what I feel tomorrow.
I could have chose different paths today, but I kept following the path of love. It wasn’t easy. But each choice confirmed the one before.
It all made sense, the connections between it all, when I got a call at the end of the day from my kid who’s away on vacation. The kid that never really needs to call me when she’s away unless she really needs a passcode, has a need, is lost, or a parent asks her to. Today for the first time I got that call, that was not for anything, it was just to say hi, and I miss you. I felt the connection betwen us on that call and all the energy flowing out of me that entire day. She heard me 3000 miles away. That’s what it felt like.
We can tune into each other, the ancestors, speak across distance and time. Some times of the month maybe it’s easier.
Is this turning into a witchy loving lunar healing account? I can only aspire.
I’m a Gemini so you know I’ll be on my bullshit again tomorrow or the next day. That’s my particular curse or gift, I feel all the sides. I can access both deep rage and all the love in the universe. I’m most alive at these various poles, I don’t know what chilling in the middle means most of the time, I’m led by those with more balanced energy signs in that work.
Other things:
sensible advice I find on tiktok on how to be less depressed, bummy and broke:
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and part 2:
fertile ground to build the world we dream of:
on how to thrive in chaos:
'under the covers, rubbing your feet together like a cockroach' ;) That's me every night.