Apparently if I don’t do this by midnight because I fall asleep next to kids, per my usual Monday night “routine”, I wake up several times over the course of the night finally to just sit here at 3:39 AM to do a Day 7.
A few things in no particular order:
I completed a Monday, and so did you. For that you deserve prizes and accolades. I went through the rollercoaster of Monday emotions, convincing myself at one point that all personal relationships that did not have to do with my work, everything is about the work, has to be put on hold.
It is hard for me to deny the connection between my loneliness or temporary hold on all intimate relationship matters and my work output? This is slightly disturbing to me. And on the deepest level I understand it.
I referenced all kind of relationship things in my relationship anarchy post 2 days back. I think I’m interested in thinking about form of relationships. What reasons a man and a woman historically did and still do get together all across the world. And how much of it derives from economic family decisions and necessity. What I’m saying is I don’t want to overlook that economics also drive these things. In a lot of situations. That may not be romantic, but it’s facts.
That’s not to say there are not other, more interesting models of relationships besides monogamous hetero dynamics that could be equally as or even more fruitful from an economic standpoint. (IMHO, there are so many better ones, and someone should pay me to do this research and write on it).
I went to Home Depot today by myself and I really do have love for HD employees (in the Bedstuy location). I usually have to ask people things to find my way there. And like they know so much! They are so knowledgeable about all things related to the aisle or section they work in. The amount of skill required to be able to answer questions about all those bits and pieces of plumbing materials in Aisle 22 for example! The guy who tried to help me in Aisle 3 where I was sent by Aisle 22 guy who didn’t really know what he was talking about when he sent me back to Aisle 22 to find something that Home Depot doesn’t make, and Aisle 22 guy sent me right back to Aisle 3, but still I have love for all of them!
Dude my mom’s lamb curry frozen and defrosted 3 weeks later might even be better than freshly made day of. Something about not smelling lamb cooking all day, like the smells of food cooking satiate you in a way, so when you eat the food day of, it’s good but also you have been taking it in for hours. But when you reheat that frozen, or takeout dish the next day, it’s like a complete surprise to your senses!
My child gets vocabulary words that she has to write out and draw pictures for.
Sidenote: The system has you so crazy that I hesitate to post the cutest photo here, because I’m like is my child on track with her reading and writing enough to show people her handwriting and spelling? This school shit and the reading levels your child progresses through will twist your mind up. Will stress you out over whether your child should have been at a level G by now. So that you might forget to celebrate the whole incredible process of our babies learning LANGUAGE! IT’S JUST WOW.
The word Publish, she explained, is a picture of me sitting at a desk and I just. Got. A. Bit. Emotional. At. That.
Also doing new things is hard. Pushing to do new things when no one is really asking you to do these things, it’s just all coming from inside you. Well I’m sending particular love to all of you who might also be in this state. I’ve been here for a minute and I just want to say it’s all the things. Incredible, triggering, scary, exciting. I’m doing my first death cafe this Thursday. Death cafes were really a beautiful experience for me throughout pandemic and I discovered them through death doula communities. There are so few spaces to really explore death as a community, in a way that is not just one-dimensional, that also can incorporate the deep richness of the dying and grieving experience along with joy, laughter, dreaming, casualness. They were inspiring and healing spaces for me. I am excited to be able to offer them out in community, and hope to continue to do so if people find value in it. Here is a link to some info about the ones I’m doing.
I think that’s enough for a middle of the night post.
I'm sorry. It looks like you're gonna have to do all your posts in the middle of the night because that was really great.